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How To Survive Thanksgiving

Deadly pandemic or not, Thanksgiving is all about survival. Family members all gathered around the table. Talking politics, family drama, sports, past drama, etc. I find family gatherings like the game of minesweeper, one wrong move and the entire day is ruined.

Here are my thoughts on surviving:

Politics

You can't avoid politics, it's impossible. So come prepared. Have a spreadsheet, color coded notes, facts backed up by a list of citations-APA, of course. Be sure to correctly quote Trump and Rudy Giuliani's famous lines. If you easily get flustered or upset by arguments, practice beforehand in the mirror.



Future plans

When probed with the question-'what do you plan to do after college?' Refer to my politics solution. Come prepared. Spreadsheet, fact sheet, and possibly if there is time a colorful powerpoint. Surviving life after college is like a game of lottery, you don't know what the end numbers will be and you'll most likely be disappointed. So to save disappointment in the long run explain to them that their generation screwed your generation over with the economy, debt, and housing market. Again, practice in the mirror beforehand if you get teary eyed easily thinking about the state of the world right now.



If you find yourself having to defend a younger family member on their choices.

If your family is anything like mine, you'll find yourself having to defend a 'rebellious' younger family member. Whether they dared to get a tattoo, cut their hair way to short, or found themselves hungover on the day of Thanksgiving, you will need to defend them. It's easy to join in on the gossip and harsh criticism, but soon the winds will change and you'll find yourself in the hot seat. So, its best to come to the rescue and stop the harsh rhetoric before they get to you and your shitty life choices. You'll need to have small amounts of family dirt to do this properly. Bring up anything that your parents did that got them into trouble when they were younger. Such as hot wiring a car, getting caught through a window after curfew, etc. Just slip it in through causal conversation and watch as the older generation start attacking each other. Pour you and your younger family member you saved a class of wine and watch the live performance.


AND THATS IT!

You got this. Don't show weakness. Stay Strong.

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